I am not fantastic at keeping New Year's Resolutions. Every year I vow to be a better friend, a better mother, lose weight, stop chewing my nails, budget, yada yada yada.
Well, I've already started losing weight ~I'm at a current net loss of 14 pounds!~ I've been better connected to my long distance friends this year than ever, and all my kids still tolerate me. Two of them don't have much of a choice, but Splenda does, and she puts up with my crazy. I like to think my good days outweigh my crazy days. I'm thirty (and a half!) and I'm resigned to the fact that I will probably never stop chewing my nails.
But at the end of 2010 - I just feel deflated. Flat. How flat? ___________ that flat
So much has transpired this year, but I do not feel like I've accomplished anything. Lots of being busy, and not a lot of productivity.
I want to stre-e-e-e-e-etch my comfort zone this year. I don't want to just be a better friend - I want to develop deeper relationships with new people. Believe it or not, I'm rather shy with people that I don't know well. I'm also very reserved and shallow with some people that I know all too well. What if I take that scary step and open up to someone? The worst thing that can happen is they find out I'M HUMAN - so very imperfect. Or what if I lightly talk about the weather and ice cream and smiles, and that person walks away unchanged, still burdened?
I want the Lord to deepen my compassion and help me to not be so self-absorbed.
I want to set a better example for my children. Keeping my frustrations in check, trusting my worries to the Lord for provision and safekeeping, making my prayer time to be more consistent.
These things are not impossible. It may take (gulp!) self-discipline and allowing the Word of God to penetrate and cut out characteristics that are not pleasing to God. But He is faithful to forgive me, and to shape me into the vessel and the purpose for which He has called and equipped me to fulfill.
2 comments:
Interesting that I was just sitting here thinking that a good new year's resolution would be to make new friends. Like you, I tend to be S-U-P-E-R shy around new people. So shy, that I can sit through a 16 week class that meets twice a week, and never speak a word to any of my classmates. That's just crazy.
On a completely different note, I pink puffy cupcake heart the new 'do!!!
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