Don't wake the beast

I am not easily entreated to wake up if I don't wake up on my own.

There's no gentle tap on my shoulder, "Mrs Lemon, it's time to get up. The alarm has gone off for 30 seconds now" and then a stre-e-e-etch of my arms above my head, a slow smile on my face that another morning has come, good morning, good morning, good morning, it's time to rise and shine.

No. That's fiction.

The alarm has to be going off for at least 30 minutes before I hear it. And DON'T TALK TO ME. Especially about anything I have to think about. I can force myself to be civil enough to tell Mr Lemon goodbye, I love you, when he has to leave at the ungodly hours of the morning for work, but NO CONVERSATION.

Well. He forgot that Friday morning. He went out to start his car, brought snow in from the outside where the Lord God intended snow to stay, and brought it up to my bedside carpet. He woke me up to tell me goodbye, I love you, and because I responded, he thought I was awake and began to discuss financial matters with me. And then, because I am carrying this baby between my bowels and my bladder, I had to go to the restroom. I stepped in the snow. With my sock feet. Then, he left the light on downstairs, and came in and out of the house 2 more times before he finally left. Grr.

This was around 4:30 am Friday morning. I finally got back to sleep around 8am. I called him around 5:20 to let him know that yes, indeed, I did get paid, and (gulp) let him know ALL ABOUT how I am still awake. Mr Lemon offered to just come home on the spot so I could wring his neck in person. That wasn't necessary.

Later I apologized for not being nice, and we got it all worked out, but still. That was awfully early. And the snow was awfully cold. And the light bright. And too much talking.

I apparently got the message across loud and clear.

Yesterday morning he misplaced his phone. He's tearing up the bedroom looking for this phone in the dark, but by God, he wasn't going to wake me up or turn on a light.

Instead, he turned his flashlight on. He was bound and determined to not wake me up, but I just couldn't help it, I started laughing. That flashlight was so funny, and I felt so bad for being mean to him Friday.

How about you? Do you wake up easy? Does your family know better than to talk to you?