Today I want to tell the whole interweb about Splenda's recent few days with us.
She's on summer break, so she's with us whenever Mr Lemon is off work. To be honest and frank, sometimes when she's with us longer than three days at a time every other weekend, things can get a leetle stressful and tense.
Make no mistake about it, children are broken into more than two pieces when their parents divorce. There isn't a mom half and a dad half. Mr Lemon does the best that he can under the circumstances of trying to be an involved parent long distance. It is hard on him. Kids need both of their parents' support to be successful. And, I have to be honest that I am still learning how to be supportive of him as my husband and the father of my children, and yet still be somewhat sympathetic towards her mother. It is hard on me. I don't like to write about it because it's just one of those things that happens in a second marriage. Thankfully, Mr Lemon and I are open with each other, and we grow stronger as a couple and as parents each time we come to a conflict and resolve it.
I said all that to say that there are not a lot of expectations on Splenda when she's here. I have backed off on expecting her to pick up her share of household chores. Some people may argue that she's not learning how to be an adjusted kid in that aspect, but the circumstances are different for her. I think that a child grows - thrives - learns to adjust when their home is stable, so Mr Lemon and I are working on our end to make sure our home is stable, peaceful, and a good place to be.
So here's some bragging on Splenda:
~She's making her bed now without a fight - I'm proud of that!
~She is learning how to share her dad with another baby - I'm proud of that!
~She is learning respect for others - I'm proud of that!
~And - the other day, when I overslept in a big way because we didn't get a solid night's rest, she played with Zesty in their room quietly until I bolted out of bed at 10:00am. Then, she cleaned up his breakfast tray and fixed a bottle of juice for him - without even being asked or the idea suggested to her. (I was on the phone in the other room.) THEN - while I gave Zesty a bath, she voluntarily washed, dried, and put away the dishes that were in the sink.
I checked her forehead for a fever and looked in her ears to see if an alien had replaced our Splenda with a counterfeit.
I am so proud of her. The last two plus years since I've known her, she has really come a long way.
I'm excited for our future.
9 comments:
This makes me smile.
You guys are doing a good job, all of you.
I think that is AWESOME!!
My brother has a similar situation and I know that my sil has struggled also.
It does get easier! My brother and sil have been married nine years this year and they would probably tell you it is HARD work but so worth it.
They have 5 kids now~2 are my brother's from previous relationship and by God's grace my sil is homeschooling all of them. She is my hero:~)
I have so much respect for Dads that don't "forget" their kids when the divorce is final.
Thank you for sharing your blog. I love it!
awww that is sweet of you to brag on her like that.
As a someone who grew up with divorced parents, I appreciate the fact that you understand how hard it is on the kids.
I still wish that I could walk into a restaurant with my family and say 'Smith, party of 4 please', but it is never going to be that way. :( It is just something you never out grow. Of course, I never had an awesome, spectacular, understanding and loving stepmom like you are! :D So I'm sure that Splenda will grow to be a much better person than I am! :D
Well...*sniff*...this makes me cry. I am just so happy for you all...*sniff* *sniff*....being a stepmom myself, I know how difficult it can be to try to figure out what are reasonable expectations while considering all that could possibly be going on inside of said children emotionally and so on.
It definitely looks like you all are on the right track! :-)
Hey there lady...I LOVE your blog...I read your 3part story of your love life ...LOVED IT! I just recently started my own blog and would love to know where in setup did you put your "in the mix" part? Setting up the layout has been a bit of a pain for me!
Jenn
WOO HOO!!!! You tell that girl that Nana is VERY PROUD of her!!!
First, I see I missed your birthday~hope it was happy!
Second, yeah for Splenda! Parenting is HARD work. The hardest thing I have EVER done and I have only begun. It sounds like all of your communication, patience, and effort has paid off! Enjoy it!!!
God is good, isn't he!?
Third, I will be asking for some advice in a couple of years because something tells me that you are also dealing with a preteen and all that goes along with that.
Can't wait...
Mrs. Nurse Boy
sigh. this stepmom thing is HARD. it should come with a how-to book. i'm glad you seem to have a pretty good grasp.
Hey there!
Been trying to catch up on ur bloggy...I agree with you on ur parenting style. you are amazing...and you seem to be handling the step parenting better than I have ever seen anyone else handle it! kudos to you!!!
jana... ;-)
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