The One Where I Can't Think Of Anything Else To Say

Splenda went with me today for my 29 week belly check. I think I was more excited that she was going to hear the baby's heartbeat than she was. And as it turns out, we spent more time talking about pets that have come and gone in our lives than we did hearing the heartbeat.

Because we all know that a 10:15am doctor appointment isn't going to actually happen until 11:20.

I did make a boo-boo. I told Splenda that she could ask the doctor any questions she wanted to about the baby, and I was feeling awfully step-mommy-ish taking her in, introducing her to the nurse, rejoicing that I still have only gained 2 pounds TOTAL, etc, etc, etc.

Anyone want to guess the first thing she asked me when we sat down in the office?

"What are those things?" ... pointing to the business end of the exam table.

I stammered out some totally uncool explanation that sometimes the doctor has to have me lay on my back and ... ummmm ... spread my legs ... to make sure everything is where it's supposed to be.

At the HORRIFIED, and I do mean CAPITAL "H" HORRIFIED look on her face, I quickly reassured her that was not happening today.

Then I think we awkwardly segued to me asking very quickly "have you ever seen kittens born, hmmm?" and the conversation of All The Pets In Our Lives began.

Thank you, Mom and Dad, for providing so many pets to our childhood household that we never had to revisit the topic of Those Things At The End Of The Exam Table.