Reading about another blogger's take on allowing the baby to cry himself to sleep gave me cause to stop and consider this phase he is in.
Sometimes - I let him cry it out. It doesn't usually take more than ten minutes. However, ten minutes of him crying certainly feels more like ten hours. I keep an eye on the clock, and I can tell when his cries turn to "I'm mad that you put me down" to "I'll deal with it, but may I have my paci, please?" Teaching him to sleep on his own is my responsibility as a mother.
Sometimes - I tell Mr Lemon that I just can't handle the crying (such as after a long day out or on a church night), and I'll let him nurse himself to sleep and rock him a bit. To me, that's my privilege as a mother. In a few short years, I'll only get to rock him to sleep if he's sick. As it is now, he wiggles on my lap to get down on the floor - in a few months, he'll be running all over the place. I'm going to get my lap time in now while I can still hold him.
What I really want to say is there are phases in parenting. I've got to take it one phase at a time. From about 3 1/2 -5 months, Zesty shrieked NON.STOP. every time we were in the car. It was awful. I hated it. I didn't go anywhere if it wasn't absolutely necessary. When we did go out, I would get bruises on my forearms from reaching around to his carseat and toggling the paci in his mouth.
If I would have known that was only going to last a month, I would have probably been much more capable of dealing with it. Hindsight is 20/20.
What are some choices that you made as a young mother that you realize now that you could have done differently?
And in case you don't really want to think that deeply this morning, here's nearly 3 minutes of Zesty chatter for you.
(I don't know where he got his gift of gab.)
13 comments:
When I had only one kiddo, I didn't go out (to run errands). Ever. It was too hard. (snort)
Now I find myself running errands all the time with three or four little ones in tow. And I find myself recalling those "only child" days. What in the name of all that's green was I thinking?! Hauling one kid into a store to pick up something was too hard?
I don't resent having four kids to haul around now (actually I feel really blessed), but looking back I do wish I had taken advantage of the "easier" one-child days :)
PS Zesty is such a cutie! Love the "talking".
Awww, I love baby chatter.
Your question will have to warrant actual thinking and I haven't been able to muster that up yet this morning. I'll have to think about it and get back to ya later.
lol - you just made one little sick boy's morning!!! As soon as the video of Zesty started playing ~T~ came flying across the room and trying to climb up in my lap so he could watch the baby!! Too cute. As for your question - I'm not sure this morning either, having been up straight until 4am with a sick, screaming baby who then only slept until 8am. I'll have to get back to you :)
okay, you know you're a mother when you sit and listen/watch a video of someone ELSE's baby talking for 3 minutes! lol He's adorable, though.
And, sadly, I also cannot answer your question at the moment. I spent all night trying to sleep while my just turned 3 year old and my almost 2 year old kept trying to creep in and out of my room. All. Night. Long.
I miss the being able to hold on my lap while nursing stage. It went by all too fast. There are certain things that you just must treasure. You have to make your own decisions to choose what battles to fight and what to let go for the moment.
Love you, Mrs. Lemon
~Debi
i make those same noises while i'm stuffing envelopes at work for 7 hours. people don't gather around and watch and say how cute i am. do you think i'm doing something wrong?
Sweet Mama Entropy - I almost couldn't contain my excitement when I realized he was big enough to sit up in the WalMart cart by himself (w/ a blanket). I thought YAY! I can go to WalMart without it being a stroller production!
Valerie, Butterfly Momma, & Debi - I will anxiously await your thoughtful thoughts.
Shana - Maybe you should surround yourself with soft toys. Then maybe they will video you and tell you how cute you are. :)
So, I have thought long and hard about what I would do differently. The answer? Probably nothing. Not because I am a perfect mom, just because I did the best I could do at each stage. I look back and think about how easy life was with only one kid. But it wasn't easy. It was challenging, even hard at times. I felt like I couldn't get anything done. Then came child number two. I started longing for the days when I "only" had one. Then we had number three. Suddenly, two didn't seem so hard. We ARE stopping at three, so I'll just treasure those crazy looks and eye rolls I get at the grocery store when I have all three in tow. Come to think of it, I have become much more flexible and laid back. I was NEITHER of those before I had kids!
By the way, that was MRS. Nurse Boy.
Oh my, he is so delicious. Seriously, that is one fantastic little baby you have there. I had to stop myself from nuzzling the screen.
I would have been much less rigid about naptimes. While he was definitely one of those children that thrived on routine and needed rest (still is) I think I could have saved myself a lot of unnecessary stress if I had not been so rigid about it all.
Oh heavens, I would have spent less time freaking about the "phases", too, had I known they only lasted a month or so. I can't say that I spent too much time awake at night with a screaming child...I never heard him screaming (lol, seriously) and the Husband finally gave up on trying to wake me n Took Care Of Business himself (gotta love that ability to sleep through Doomsday)
Tater Tot LOVED his Baby Einstein "play station," which is what his Daddy called it. Once he learned to spin himself around and get to all of the different toys, he was one happy little fellow! Seeing Zesty in his makes me long for those sweet days...
I don't know what I would do differently other than throw out those books that tell you that the baby ought to be doing THIS by NOW. I made myself a complete wreck for the first few months until my husband finally hid them from me and forced me to relax a little and rely on my instincts. It's probably the best thing he could've done for me. (Well, other than hire a full-time cook and maid, but THAT wasn't going to happen, so....!!!)
Zesty is a mighty cute little fella!
oh yeah that s my almost mine grandson baby purr----fect child......s.s.
Okay - reading your published Q&A reminded me that I never got back to you on this one. I think that the only thing that I will try to change the next time around is what pretty well everyone else has said - to remember that "this is just a phase and not fight it." I remember wondering if Terence would ever get big enough that he wouldn't want to be carried in a wrap all the time - today I'd give almost anything to have him snuggled contently in that close to me. I remember in the first few months wondering how I would ever make it to one year of breastfeeding him. It passed way too fast! I am proud to say that I am getting much better at totally living in the moment with him and realizing how quickly the latest cute/annoying/brillant thing he is doing will be such a short lived thing and to enjoy every moment of it. Cheesy, yes. True, definitely!!
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