Halp me

(Before I get started, thank you so much for the sweet comments about the picture. It was not posed, I just kiss him all the time and Mr Lemon caught it on the camera. It was a wonderful Mother's Day.)

I wish I had some profound reason for not blogging like "go live your life before you blog it," (quotes are mine).

But I don't.

The truth is, I'm a little more than overwhelmed right now.

I am such a people pleaser and it has become exceedingly apparent recently. No one, I repeat NO ONE, is pressuring me, but I feel pressure to go show off the baby every chance I get. The last 5 weeks I have worn myself out going and doing and running, even more so than the getting up at ungodly hours of the night. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and friends, but I feel so guilty when Zesty is worn out.

I told someone (who? I cannot remember - my memory is shot) that I see myself trying to keep up my pre-pregnancy pace, just adding baby and a diaper bag. That is not working for me anymore!

For instance - yesterday I had my 6-week check up. Read: We wasted an hour and a half waiting for the doctor to tell me everything is fine and take Advil for my loose joint pain. Then we went to the grocery store. After that, I was home for barely an hour before we left for the rest of the day/evening to visit Splenda for Mr Lemon's custody time. I was just fine with going - I love Splenda, and I enjoy visiting his family and friends.

But on the freeway, I snapped at Mr Lemon because I just finally got tired, and realized I should have stayed home. This caused undue tension the rest of the evening because I was sorry for being a CHILD and not understanding that Mr Lemon is totally fine with me not going with him. All I had to do was say "I don't think I'm going today." But no. I'm a people pleaser, and I felt like I was letting him down if I wasn't by his side.

(Mr Lemon is not mad at me. I still kept apologizing profusely.)

So. I'm up at 4:10am baring my soul to the internets.

What are some suggestions that you have for this situation? Surely I'm not the only new mother who has trouble setting boundaries.

(On a positive note, I am down to 212 lbs, which is 5 lbs less than my first prenatal visit back in August.)

(On a funny note, I ate an entire box of macaroni and cheese for lunch yesterday. By. My. Self. Zesty's poop is green. The wonders of modern preservatives and fake cheese.)