trembling, she says

So this weekend I'm going to a Ladies Retreat. It's a whole different story than last year. Last year, I was in charge of the music and worship leading. He Who Shall Not Be Named went with me to be my support.

This year, I'm single. There's a more than a little inner quaking in seeing so many ladies all at once who last year saw me up on the platform. This year I'm able to be a part of the services without being on alert (as I call it) for cues for the end of service music.

But let me be honest, we're all ladies here. We are emotional. Sometimes we are catty. Most of the time, quite compassionate. I'm very nervous about how to present myself at this retreat. I know, you will all say "just be yourself, Your Lizness." But this post from Carol got me thinking scary things like

• What if I tell how I'm really doing, will someone tell me to work things out with him?
• Will they snot and slobber on my shoulder?
• Will they in turn tell me their horror stories?
• Do they want to know because they care?
• Or do they want to know to pat their own righteous backs about how they will never turn out like Poor Liz?

And then on the other hand, if I choose to put on the happy face so as not to make a scene or cause some poor unsuspecting soul trauma, what if someone sees through it and says something like "Can I pray for you right now?"

I will not be able to stand. I will be a puddle on the floor. Just prop me up and put a fork in my hand, will ya?